Waiting

I've waited more years then I have fingers on my hands to hear your voice again. But I am not nervous to see you after all this time. 

Because when it comes to war and battles, my heart rate slows to a calm and steady beat. 

Maybe I got accustomed to chaos and the calm that I feel in it. 

I've counted the stitches in my sleeve a thousand times over and the number never changes. The calendar runs the days in the same order every cycle. And the words in your books never change. 

But every day my mind moves back and forth from love to hate. My heart stands on uneven ground that shakes every time You walk into my thoughts.