Waiting

I've waited more years then I have fingers on my hands to hear your voice again. But I am not nervous to see you after all this time. 

Because when it comes to war and battles, my heart rate slows to a calm and steady beat. 

Maybe I got accustomed to chaos and the calm that I feel in it. 

I've counted the stitches in my sleeve a thousand times over and the number never changes. The calendar runs the days in the same order every cycle. And the words in your books never change. 

But every day my mind moves back and forth from love to hate. My heart stands on uneven ground that shakes every time You walk into my thoughts. 

Poor

The walls around me are trying to breathe. But it seems I'm taking all the air. My lungs are full but my heart has no beat. My blood is frozen and my veins are laced with Ice. 

The oceans are screaming at eachother. They battle with waves and storms, smashing eachother in a fury we will never understand. I feel that battle inside of my head and I don't know what the outcome is. 

My heart ran away and he doesn't send me letters anymore. I have no guide for my feelings. I have no guide for my actions. 

My knuckles are torn and bloody but I don't feel the sting of pain. My nerves are numb and muted. 

The only thing I long for is to feel life again. To feel blood beat in my heart. And the cold to go away.